You just never know…..

As I type this Friday night I just got word that it is likely one of my martial arts instructors was the victim of a double murder. Two people were found dead at the residence and her son is in custody. Not looking good.

It’s times like this that I sit here and reflect on life. Friends and family that I do not value enough and that I do not express appreciation that they are in my life. I guess it is human nature – especially in today’s busy, modern world to improperly prioritize things like work, TV, and blogging over time spent with friends and family. I am sitting here really regretting not showing her more appreciation when I would see her once in awhile when heading to class. I trained with her for the first 12 to 18 months when I started stickfighting.

We can prepare for all kinds of natural disasters, civil unrest, and economic unrest – and you can step in front of a bus and get splattered all over the road. Sometimes bad things have to happen to remind us of who and what is important to us.

Take care all – 


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  1. So sorry to hear about your instructor. Your thoughts about expressing appreciation are spot on. Its something I must do more of.

  2. Rourke, I am sorry to hear of your loss…this so reflects your previous post on dealing with stress and control…IDK but I think things like these are an indicator of how out control our society has become…My daughter never leaves my home without a hug and telling me she loves me…so TG for that! My son, on the other hand, hasnt spoken to me in months after he went on a drunken rant when I asked him to call me back in 10 minutes so i could finish watching the season finale of a tv show i was hooked on…IDK if that says more about him or me…but iDID make a positive reconnection w/my brother I hadn’t talked to in almost 10 yrs!

  3. Sorry for your loss. Those of us who benefit daily from your toils all know how you feel about us! There is a balance you must find between this work and honoring your family/loved ones. The fact that you recognize the need for balance makes me confident you’ve got it figured out. But it’s a day-by-day thing…stay strong!

  4. Very sorry to hear of that tradgedy. Like you stated it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day grind and what “we” do to keep ourselves occupied and entertained. I work on maintaining heavy equipment and over the years I have known more than just a few co-workers that died as a result of injuries sustained on the job and caught myself wishing I had taken more time to talk with them. Lost my father suddenly to a heart attack and had not hardly seen him the previous 2 yrs because I was working so much overtime at that point.
    Thats been over 10 yrs ago and I am still dealing with that. You are right, ya just never know what is going to happen. The only thing we can do is try to pay more attention and remember that no matter what we are human and we will always make some mistakes. Peace.

  5. So, your mixed martial arts instructor was murdered by her son or at least
    someone she knew. You really never know, but as things wax worse and worse
    around us, the bible warns your worst enemies will be right there in your
    own family.

    If you train to defend yourself with deadly force against the howling hordes
    of marching morons out in the world…you need to prepare yourself, steel
    your mind to the possibility you will have to defend yourself with deadly
    force from a member of your own family.

    Lesson illustrated….hopefully learned.

    ol’ Lawrence

  6. Rourke,
    Sorry to hear of you loss. We plan and we prep; does one expect to use our planning/prepping, or pray that day never shows up.
    Thank you for all you contribute to us sheeple out here in zombie land.

    Hiding on the left coast,
    Outside the wire,

  7. ‘ol Lawrence,

    I like your line,

    “howling hordes
    of marching morons out in the world.”

    I may have to use that.


  8. Praying for his family and for you. Praying for our nation to return to the Judeo-Christian values and morals that we were based on. I say be prepared – spiritually and physically. Thanks for your website and information.

  9. I’m sorry, Rourke, for your personal pain, and for the pain this family must now endure. My thoughts and prayers are focused on you today. Blessings, Brother.

  10. My most profound sympathy! I know the feeling too well. Beyond combat deaths, I had multiple duties as Casualty Notification and Casualty Assistance Officer, plus was in charge of Military Funeral Honors and dealt with 6 suicides. I don’t believe that a day goes by where I don’t think of at least one of them. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to focus on happy memories with the deceased. I make it a point to ensure each parting, no matter how brief (school, work, run to the store) is amiable. That hug or kiss becomes priceless in the event you don’t see that person again. I am here for ya, if you need to talk to someone.

  11. Bother,
    I am sorry for your loss. You never know what life will bring. Be thankful for your every heart beat and every breath you are blessed with. It may be your last.Tell family / friends you love them, often.
    For believers, know this, last Christmas eve, my heart stopped for no reason, in a hospital- good place to do it. I as a medic for 40 years have heard the stories about the patients watching everything going on and crossing over-Well it is true, I watch the crew work me and I crossed over. I do not have the vocabulary to explain what I saw, but know God is real, the other side is real. Do not fear death, God is waiting for you on the other side.
    Prayers to you and their families.

  12. Wise words my friend, words to live by, cherish all friends visits like they may be your last and you’ll find life will reward your dedication 🙂

  13. I hope you find solace in knowing your friend is still with you. Everyday hugs and kind words are always needed. Dedicate yourself to her memories.

  14. Just another comment. I think alongside telling people we love them we have to show it – spend quality time bonding with them, doing what they love. Last year I took up playing bridge (a card game) because my husband loves the game and wanted me as his partner. I found it particularly difficult and stressful to learn and for the first 18 months it would be fair to say I hated it. A couple of weeks ago I realised I knew enough to feel neutral about it. I still get stressed playing but yesterday we won against strong competition at the club level.

    The point I’m making is that we have to commit time and energy to bonding with important people in our lives.

  15. Sorry for your loss. The synchronicity of your last post and my recent post and emails to you is a little creepy. Bad JuJu in the air.
    Regards, D.

  16. Sorry, Rourke, hope things get better there. We have have just dealt with family member loss, burned down house, and two robberies…it is astounding how resilient you have to be just to get through life, isn’t it.

  17. Sorry for your loss and for all of her students. People forget that random acts of violence don’t happen nearly as often as violence by immediate family: usually a child killing their parent or grandparent or a parent killing their child.

  18. Rourke,

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I remeber the day I lost my Dad. He was my Hero in the truest sense of the word. That is when it hit me, he did not wake up that morning and say “I plan on Dying today”. You never know when the Lord will call you home. This is why at the end of every phone call, or e-mail, I tell my family and closest friends that I love them. I learned this from my aunt, who told me there are no guarantee I will ever seen them again, but it would be comforting to know the last words you said to them was “I love you”. Second only to God, you should spend quality time with your family. You may not get another chance.

    Take care & Gob Bless,

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