Choosing Between Bullies and Snowflakes

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Bullies are weaklings who pretend to be tough. Snowflakes are weaklings who prefer to be weak. They both represent extremes of dysfunctional and maladaptive behavior. They can also be viewed as a circular rather than linear model.

Snowflakes do plenty of bullying by their incessant whining and reporting their outrage to sympathetic third parties They use their victim stance to gain power and force their will on others. Bullies use a cruel and counterfeit model of strength to force their will on others. Neither does well under stress.

The short version: I don’t want the company of either. I would rather be by myself. However, you may not have that choice. In the workplace, you will have to deal with bullies and snowflakes.

You may have them for neighbors. You may have them in your family. Alternatively, you may find yourself in the company of both if things go sideways and land shit-side up.

Bullies

Bullies are cruel, angry, and sadistic. They are among the most despicable human beings. They may have antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder. They are miserable people who can only feel good when they are hurting others.

They have a compulsion to dominate others, physically, or intellectually, or socially. They delight when their victim cringes, submits, is outraged, or simmers with suppressed rage, or acquiesces to their demands.

The only momentary relief they get from the psychological pain they hold inside themselves is when they make someone else hurt. Most bullies pick and choose their targets with care; weak men, women, children or animals. In addition, they are well represented among domestic abusers.

I have noticed that domestic abusers don’t do very well when their victims fathers, brothers, uncles and male friends intervene. They tend to fold up and suddenly become very humble and apologetic.

They are epidemic in elementary school, middle school, high school; they dominate the weak in venues from factories and offices, to correctional facilities.

They want to be in charge, but they have no leadership skills, and no concern or consideration for the good of the group. They tend to lack fortitude, character, and honor. They project a counterfeit strength to compensate for their weakness.

Some Reflections on the Complexity of Human Psychology

What does not kill us makes us stronger.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in Die Götzen-Dämmerung (Twilight of the Idols), [1895 ]

Now for a reflection on the complexity of human psychology. Some suggest that bullies serve to fortify and strengthen weaker people through their abuse.

If you have never experienced hardship, adversity, and challenges, if you have grown up sheltered and spoiled, how will you cope when life inevitably does not go your way?

The outcome of being bullied, like almost all experiences, will mostly depend on how we perceive it. It will wear you down and make you crumple, or train you and make you tougher and stronger. How we look at our experiences, how we perceive them will determine the degree of distress we experience.

This idea is rooted in Stoicism, the Greek philosophy which is the basis of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). CBT involves identification of maladaptive and dysfunction thinking.

Once these cognitive errors are identified, their validity can be rationally challenged. They can be discarded and replaced with more realistic and useful thoughts. In this way, we build mental fortitude and toughness.

Option A

Bullying can make one cringe from hardship and adversity and avoid challenges. A Bully’s cruel insults can be internalized by their victims, and they will see themselves as weak, ugly, stupid, a loser, or whatever else they are labeled as.

Bullying can make you submissive, always trying to please others and not make anyone angry so you don’t experience their wrath. Bullying can make you an emotional wreck, fragile and quick to yell in rage or burst into tears or shake with fear at the slightest threat. You may lose all sense of value, and spiral downwards, becoming even more submissive, and allowing others to dominate you even further.

Option B

Bullying can also be an opportunity to learn how to withstand hardship, and how to develop a deeper sense of self-worth when you are subjected to abuse that you do not internalize.

It can teach you how to be assertive, how to manage your emotions, and how to value yourself. You can gain self confidence when faced with later hardships, telling yourself that you have endured worse situations. You can decide with a deep determination that nobody will ever dominate you again.

Snowflakes

Snowflakes are sensitive, frail, fragile, and delicate. They tend to be physically weak, and have emotional breakdowns when challenged, and feel unsafe in response to words or ideas. Yet they can wield tremendous power in their victim role.

People tiptoe around them, try not to upset them, lest they have a dramatic meltdown, cause a public scene, and make everyone uncomfortable and embarrassed. Managers in the workplace indulge their complaints.

They have to have things their way or they have a breakdown and become hysterical. While Snowflakes make very attractive targets for bullies, as observed in the Introduction, they are ironically bullies themselves.

Building a Team

It can be hard to of any pros for either bullies of snowflakes. The cons are numerous, and mostly described above. However, a crisis situation can bring out the best as well as the worst in people. What to do if you are stuck with them?

First, anyone who wants to go out on their own, let them go. You may be better off on your own, or with a core group that intuitively realizes that in a crisis situation, mutual survival is dependent largely on teamwork.

Whoever sticks around, work to bring people together to function as a team. Small group dynamics will be acted out in pretty predictable ways whenever you get a small number of people together. There will be leaders and followers.

Someone will have to step up and get the group united and working together. One way to do this is the path of least resistance, and letting people default to the familiar. What do people in the group know best? Where is there familiarity and comfort zone?

Find Everyone’s Gifts

What I have discussed thus far is mostly about personality. From a different perspective, identify what people bring to the table in terms of abilities.

Give everyone a job to carry out. The anxious snowflake may be the equivalent of a wound up five-pound yappy dog that throws a fit over the littlest noise. Make them a lookout.

The tough guy bully? Now is his chance to step up and show he has real courage. Can someone cook or bake? Or sew? Is someone strong enough to carry a heavy load? Does anyone have any medical training? Find out and be the glue that binds the group together.

Conclusion

Which are you?

Are you a bully? Do you get off on dominating and abusing others? Great way to hide and overcompensate for what a pathetic scared loser you are isn’t it.

Find a good counselor. Stop mistreating other people. Do you know what is going to happen to you if you don’t stop? You will wind up alone, and even more bitter, angry and resentful toward others and the world, and become even more filled with contempt and hatred for yourself.

Are you a snowflake? Why are you deliberately embracing weakness? You are just asking to be victimized, led, or dominated. I know there is a lot of power in being a victim. The need for power is a fundamental human need.

There are much better sources of power. Find one. Examine your irrational thoughts and understand you can’t always have things your way. Stop being so easily led by the leftist rhetoric you are bombarded with, and take the Red Pill.

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About Derrick Krane 27 Articles
Derrick Krane is a conservative academic who has taught psychology and criminology for over 20 years at six different colleges. He is also a licensed clinician who provides psychotherapy to criminal offenders and victims of violent crimes and sexually based offense. He is the author of over 250 scholarly articles on various topics in criminology, psychology, neuroscience, addiction and politics. He resides in New England, and when he isn’t doing therapy, teaching or writing, he enjoys working out, taking photos, and reading classical literature. He is a patriotic, bacon eating, woman loving, (prefers tall brunettes with long hair, or short redheads with long hair, or short or tall blondes with long hair) Republican who is very pissed off about the directions our nation and Western Civilization are going. He hopes to increase awareness of the issues facing America, and help people develop strength and self-sufficiency.

6 Comments

  1. The idea that all bullies are snowflakes is a dangerous one and may get you severely injured, crippled or killed. It is definitely not rare that bullies are often sociopaths and psychopaths.

    • I don’t think he said all bullies are snowflakes. Both of these kind of individuals are looking to get to the same point of controlling a person or situation, they just use different means to accomplish this. Don’t trust either of them.

  2. i was tortured as a kid all the way up until 30 years ago when i got clean and sober i changed EVERYTHING i went so far as to even change the town i lived in i have been through more trauma than most 3 people and have pardon the language been screwed by so many people that i dont trust ANYONE AND I DO NOT PUT UP WITH BULLIES at all any longer or snowflakes i have kinda sadly become a hermit because of my lack of trust of others so i dont deal with either of these kinds very much any more

    • I was bullied as a kid, having the attitude that I had no right to hurt anyone for any reason. I was good at avoidance, which seemed an acceptable response until one day one of them caught and assaulted me. I decided that non-violent attitude was not working for me, and changed to a non-aggressive attitude. That is, to not hurt anyone who is not attempting to hurt me, and eliminate as a threat anyone who attacks me. And picked up hobbies in martial arts and weaponry. Just the attitude change was enough; nobody picked on me after that.

  3. I’m a XXX guy. Gym rat. Wrestled though school. Boxed a little bit. I have no lack of confidence. Snowflakes, weak individuals, constantly take me as a bully. I don’t call people names, I don’t cuss people out. But these days an air of confidence seems to define you as a bully. Your definitions here don’t seem dynamic enough to me, especially these days. As far as team building, I can pick a pretty good team. They’d be another classification.

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