If you do not want to hear about politics……don’t read this!

I didn’t write this – but it makes a lot of sense. I would love to have had the 1st Presidential debate go as described. We know that will never happen. 

Hope you have a few chuckles reading this – 

 

 

If I was the moderator of the upcoming presidential debates!

Good evening, Mr. Obama and Mr. Romney. I’ll be your moderator tonight. I hope our audience welcomes you with as much warmth and good cheer as you deserve.

Before I proceed with my questions, you should know a few things about me. I , my wife, my kids, my brother and sister and pretty much everyone I know are either barely clinging to the middle class by our fingernails or have already lost any need for a manicure. Not to put either of you on the defensive (heaven forbid) but I and the others I mentioned are not stupid, we see thru the flim flam the propaganda and the high minded rhetoric and we fully understand that in politics one ascends to higher office by climbing a golden ladder of lies and evasion, and you two are currently competing for the top rung.

I realize you both feel that it’s within your power to grant us some illusory “right” to complain about all this, but I could bitch until the bloodhounds start barking and it won’t make a dent in the machine that supports both of you. No one I know—no one—says they feel hopeful about the future. If you’ve taught the American public anything, it’s how to accept feeling powerless without completely losing our minds. I feel as if your entire system depends on a toxic mix of the electorate’s apathy, ignorance and learned helplessness. And at times I almost feel as if you delight in rubbing our noses in our own frustrations and despair. Sure, there are many who feel hopeful, but I think all three of us can agree that they’re naive.

how to bug in

Mr. Obama, you have broken many promises. Mr. Romney, your actions—and even your face itself—reveal someone who lacks an ideological core. So because I don’t trust either one of you, I’ve had you injected with what are deemed to be the most currently reliable truth drugs, supplied to us by our military and CIA. We all know these methods aren’t 100% foolproof, but they may serve as deterrents. Also, if you will look to your right, the American citizens have gathered their pennies and offered for this occasion the best ‘water boarding technology their pennies could afford. The truth…. sirs … is the ends of whatever means is required.

Now for my questions.

Please explain the justification for our government to continue… beyond all known reality… to try and negotiate and continue to believe we can live in peace with Islamic extremists, To believe we can somehow co-exist in harmony with a peoples who interpret their religious teachings as holy justifications to kill all infidels and who dream of turning Israel into a sheet of glass.
If you’re honestly concerned with national security, why isn’t there a 100-foot wall along our Mexican border and 100,000 armed agents ready to defend it?

Now let’s deal with matters closer to home. If there’s any wealth redistribution to be done, wouldn’t it benefit society more to set up a meritocratic system that subsidizes people with demonstrated potential rather than trying to prop up and placate those who may simply be stupid and lazy? Now I realize that this statement will cause some to beat me about the head with the well used and somewhat simplistic “racist” crutch….. so be it! 

If you favor gun control, do you also favor disarming the American military and all law-enforcement agents? If not, why should we get rid of our guns? After all we shouldn’t forget that the Supreme Court stated that each ones safety is each ones responsibility….. hey!…. they said it!

If you insist we have government-sponsored healthcare, would you endorse a system that penalizes lapses of personal responsibility such as people who eat like pigs or who smoke, drink too much and do drugs? Or how about those who continue to have baby after baby even though they have no means to support their multiple children…. other than us paying for them. If not, why should people who are responsible and take care of themselves and their offspring be forced to carry the burden for the slobs who don’t?

Oh, about that social diversity that we’re constantly told enriches us—can you point to a multicultural and multilingual nation in world history that survived and prospered rather than fractured and imploded? How do you propose to unify a country while cramming diversity down its mouth? If you’d honestly like us to believe that everyone’s the same, could you please point to any peer-reviewed studies that demonstrate physical and cognitive equality among groups of different continental origins? If you refuse to abolish the notion of “hate crimes” altogether, would you at least agree to apply standards equally, despite the respective races, genders, and sexual orientations of the perpetrators and victims?

Please explain, why have both parties refused to enforce federal immigration laws? Why do either of you pretend to care about America’s working and middle classes while you penalize them with taxes to support millions of “undocumented workers” who drain social services, suppress wages, and often display a pesky refusal to ever assimilate?

This nation’s public schools were once the best in the world and are now the world’s laughingstock. If we must have public education, when are you going to drop the feel-goody social justice Cultural Marxist kiddie brainwashing bullshit and focus on verbal, math, and logical skills?

Now for the economy.

How do you justify the fact that the American dollar is now worth only four percent of what it was in 1913? Do you honestly feel that further “quantitative easing” will benefit poor and middle-class Americans? Would it actually benefit anyone except the Federal Reserve? Would you support an independent audit of the Fed? What about a repeal of the Federal Reserve Act itself?

The public debt is currently over $16 trillion, which is roughly triple what it was only a dozen years ago. How do you propose to keep this under control without massive austerity programs or squashing us all under a new totalitarian police state? If you sincerely care about American families, workers, and businesses, why wouldn’t you raise huge tariffs on imports and repeal NAFTA?

I’d like to address the role of government itself.

How can you possibly justify the National Defense Authorization Act, which permits the infinite detention of American citizens without trial? Why are you afraid to reveal—down to the penny—how you spend the tens of billions you soak from us yearly for the CIA, FBI, NSA, and sundry undercover “black budget” operations? With decades of evidence that the federal government routinely lies to its citizens, why should we trust you about drone surveillance? Why should we trust you about anything?

Finally, I’d like to ask you about creeping globalization and the gradual erosion of national sovereignty. Would you support an immediate withdrawal from the United Nations? Specifically, would you resist the UN’s efforts to impose global taxes of any kind?

If not, why should I remove your handcuffs and untie you from your chairs?….. gentlemen, we await your answers……. and need I remind you….. the water boarding equipment awaits.


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5 Comments

  1. I love this. I have always said that voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. I have not felt good about voting for a long time. It feels like a huge scam that is just another place where we get lied to. The two party system is just about keeping the American people divided so that we won’t really notice all the lies we are being fed.

  2. This fictional debate would be earth shattering, perhaps as stunning as the actual debate was Wednesday night. I don’t expect you John to publish this (I will likely be far to mean spirited) and I wouldn’t blame you for not.

    Having watched this latest version of the real thing, I was left dumbfounded, shocked and thrilled…. I must admit that at various times during the debate I shrieked like a little girl does upon receiving a valentine from her favorite toddler heart throb. Lets be honest, Romney took Obama to the wood shed. Romney kicked Barack Obama’s ass so thoroughly Wednesday night, I bet Attorney General Eric Holder is considered charging -HIM- with a hate crime.

    Romney was so sharp and presidential and commanding and on-point that even Obama’s fiercest supporters pooped their diapers and were forced to admit that maybe Obama really does need a teleprompter. By the end of the debate the president looked like a puddle of creamed corn….. and then the fun really began. Of course I’m referring to the leftist talking heads meltdown.

    Bill Maher tweeted, “Obama made a lot of great points tonight. Unfortunately, most of them were for Romney.”

    Andrew Sullivan blogged, “Romney is kicking the president’s ass….This is a rolling calamity for Obama. He’s boring, abstract, and less human-seeming than Romney!” and “Obama looked tired, even bored….He may even have lost the election tonight.”

    And then there was Michael Moore, who apparently unhooked himself from the no-doubt elaborate system of levers and pulleys that allows him to service himself (sorry) to share HIS feelings, “If Romney keeps this up…Obama is going to vote for him!”

    How about Al Gore’s excuse, a lack of oxygen!…. good lord… How could it be the altitude? haven’t we been told repeatedly that Obama came down from Mount Olympis to be our “Godking”. Isn’t Mount Olympis higher than Denver? Gore would have sounded more sane if he had blamed “manbearpig”. You’d have to be a Southpark fan to understand that one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf69EEL3WBk

    And finally Nicholas Kristof, who lamented that Obama looked “constipated”. That is particularly damaging since in every US presidential election since 1788, the constipated-looking one has lost. This is surely an ominous sign for Obama.

    I understand the “lesser of two evils” feeling, but in the end we enter the booth, work the lever and hope for the best…… sometimes we get surprised and get more than we hoped for…. it’s happened before.

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