Guest Post: “Sorry, Bob. Go Die Somewhere Else.”

by D.B.

As I write this, I stare out my window at the minor destruction caused by the recent thunderstorms that ripped through the Midwest over the past few days. It always amazes me what Mother Nature is capable of. At the same time I find it a shame we can’t avoid the rain while the southwest can’t get a drop. But, my problem isn’t with Mother Nature, it’s with human nature.

 

The problem is what to do with those unprepared family and friends that have willfully or ignorantly choose not to prepare themselves who WILL show up on my doorstep with their hands out begging for me to let them in. Unfortunately, this is a problem I haven’t found a solution for and, frankly, don’t know how to solve. And it’s bothering me… a lot.

 

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I have and I’m trying harder. But to no avail. I keep finding that people don’t seem to care or steadfastly believe that things can’t get bad enough to warrant my level of preps. Honestly, I’m shocked at this mentality given the state of our economy. I firmly believe it can only get worse. Of course, it’s not helping that I read too many doom-and-gloom books and blog posts. J

 

Maybe I am a bit paranoid; I guess that’s just part of being a prepper. But that still doesn’t alter the fact that if I’m even remotely correct that I will be the ONLY person in my circle of friends that is remotely prepared. It stands to follow, therefore, that since my friends and family (with the exception of my in-laws) are unprepared, they will be looking for me to care for them. It’s a foregone conclusion in my book.

 

how to bug in

Now, in the past I’ve read how others suggest dealing with this problem, from clearly stating that others are not welcome if they’re not prepared up to and including physically shooting anyone who isn’t expected to be a part of your preparedness plan. While I can understand this mentality (to a point) with strangers, acquaintances, and even neighbors—I’m sure there’s a few of them I wouldn’t mind shooting at if given the opportunity—but I have to believe that when it comes to family and close friends, this philosophy falls apart.

 

Take a moment and think about people you truly care about. In addition, consider only those who you know are unprepared and could likely show up TEOTWAWKI + 1. These are people you’ve likely known for many years, even a lifetime. You’ve made many memories with them and care for them deeply. Maybe you’ve helped them move their belongings more than once. Perhaps you go to baseball or football games with them, even vacation with them and certainly hang out with them on weekends. And now all of a sudden they’re unwelcome? I don’t think so.

 

As an example, I’ve recently broached the subject of preparedness with my soon-to-be brother-in-law, somebody who I respect, have become good friends with, and expect to be one of those “extra” mouths to feed (along with my sister-in-law and niece). Long story short, when pressed as to what he would do if it came down to it, his answer would be to cut back on services he didn’t need (i.e., cable tv, phones, etc) and sell equipment such as his computer. But, what if nobody wants to buy his computer or anything else he has to sell?

 

So, I pressed him further. I ask, “What if money becomes worthless and you can’t even buy a loaf of bread?” His answer is “I’ll just blow my brains out. After all, who wants to live in a world like that?” Of course, I’m sure this is just a knee-jerk reaction to not having an answer. He is awfully stubborn, after all.

 

Anyway, that answer bothers me on multiple levels. In fact, the more I think about it the more upset it makes me. Soon he’ll be a family man with a responsibility I imagine he doesn’t truly “feel” yet. That is, the absolute need to care for one’s family no matter what it takes. It also means that he’s choosing to remain ignorant, which means they WILL be looking to me (and my in-laws) to care for them. So, what does he say to me post SHTF? “Oops. I was wrong. Can I come in now? I’m hungry.”

 

The question is quite simply what to do with this group of people? I don’t know how many there might be for you but it could easily be a dozen or more for me. Considering that I have a family of four, a dozen additional people will effectively quadruple the drain on my already sparse food and supplies. After all, we have one small income and literally no “extra” money to spare. If I thought I could afford to prepare for everyone I would. But I can’t even properly prepare for my family let alone another a few more families. This is my dilemma. And I think it will be yours too.

 

To be honest, it’s not like I wouldn’t let any of these people inside. Perhaps I’m just a softie at heart. For sure, I’m going to be downright steamed about it. I’m also not naive enough to believe that I will be the sole decision maker in such situations. Even if I did choose to stand my ground and deny their entry I’m sure my wife (and in-laws) would overrule and/or outnumber me. How about you? What would you do in this situation?

 

Here’s your homework: The next time you’re visiting with good friends (or family) that you know are unprepared, take a good long look at them—make it a bit creepy while you’re at it—and think about what you would do with them in this very situation.

 

So, which is it? “Come on in, Bob. You’re welcome.” Or “Sorry, Bob. Go Die Somewhere Else.”


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31 Comments

  1. The good news is that you have a lovely, close-knit family, the bad news is that you have a lovely, close-knit family.

    I was an only child, didn’t much like it. But, now that I am grown up, (and middle-aged) I’m okay with it, because, among other things, I’ve seen and heard of so many problems and aggravations with big families. People that grow up with all the background chatter of siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. are used to it, I guess…

    It seems to me that your only option is to KEEP TRYING to educate those family members, close friends, that you think are likely to land on your doorstep. Use every opportunity to tell them about the things that you DO to prepare for the future, (not the things you HAVE, tho, keep that under your hat) like, gardening, building solar ovens, chopping wood, securing your home, reading about useful/relevant things, etc.

    They’ll either get a clue, or they’ll get so sick of hearing about it that they’ll avoid you (which is as good a reason as any to not open your door to them later and share your hard earned food and preps. You can’t take care of everyone, your wife and children are the most important.

    just my 2 cents

  2. Very Good Article,
    I have been thinking and praying about this very issue. I have also been trying to store additional supplies to compensate for such a event. My plan is to allow family and friends that are able to make it to me. Rember when the SHTF it’s a good bet Marshal Law will be declared and movements will be restricted just like during hurricane Katrina in my area. This would mean anyone heading to my place for refuge would have to get outs dodge before the crowds or be stuck in place.
    I am preparing for this by increasing my storage of supplies (espically Food and Medical , I’m on a well with backup) just in case. If I store enough Extra Supplies it would help greatly in such a case.
    Anyone that is not Family or Friend though might be offered some small provisions depending upon the situation but WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO STAY !
    Also the Family and Friends that do show up would have to WORK in order to stay. Hunting,Fishing/Marine Patrol, Gardening, or Security any of them would have to PItch In.
    You are right at 55 years old and a veteran Air Force Survival Expert I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY THREATS FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT SOURCES HEADING OUR WAY AT THE SAME TIME. I am VERY CONCERNED but prepared ! GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK ! we are going to need it !

  3. That opportunity presents itself next week end. A good time to see if the subject can be brought up with them and listen to their ‘oppinions’ and the like.

  4. If Bob kicked in your door and tried to steal the food and supplies you had set aside for your family and those whom you care for.

    You would have no problem knowing what to do.

    If Bob or anyone is unwilling to make some provisions for bad times.. He has done nothing less that the above. Demanding you care for him and his when he has had the opportunity to prepare.

    That is not to suggest Bob is not a victim even though he may have acquiesced by failing to prepare.

    God forbid that anyone should go hungry.. live in poverty anywhere.

    There are plenty of genuinely evil people who have been leeching off societies productive folks for generations.
    Their larders will be filled through out any potential crisis in no small part of their own making.

    Bob is not one of those… however if you have taken the time to explain your concerns and he has dismissed them..
    He is no different than any stranger when he arrives at your door.

    He and his are not your problem if they choose not to make some effort to prepare.

    There will always be a grey area for those who have made efforts and find themselves short..

    Your moral quandary remains.. However “Bob and his … are not a part of the equation.

    Victor

    V

  5. My immediate family has already had this very painful discussion. I am prepared to house, feed, and secure my wife, our 4 kids, their spouses, and our 2 grandchildren for a long time (decades, if the lack of readily available fertilizer and spare parts for the hand pumps on our wells don’t become an issue). We have developed a plan (sort of, because I can’t really get any of the kids to commit to their intentions) on what to do with more grandchildren. We have 4 friends who are relatively well prepared, though they are not part of a group and may wish to relocate rather than go it alone. They have material goods and skill sets which would be welcome in our family. They know where we are, how to get in touch with us, and the minimum amount of “things” they would be expected to bring. They also know that if they show up with any addional personnel, they would be turned away – no questions asked. I would probably be flexible on the “things”, but that would be a gut call depending on the circumstances. How does one create an algorithm to compute the value of extra hands, guns, ammo, and some unknown amount of other “things” in relation to the added burden of more mouths to feed, more load on the water and septic system, and more potential health issues?

    We have parents and family members who have health issues (some very severe – cancer, diabetes, and even one with HIV), others who simply do not see the need to keep more than 3 days of anything on hand (they will intentionally buy the smallest available package because they don’t want to take up space with the more economical larger version), and who would insist on bringing every photo album, prom dress, and christmas tie because they are family heirlooms. Although I would certainly regret doing so, if the circumstances were indeed dire (EOTWAWKI, SHTF, etc) I would in all honesty meet them at the gate (locked and loaded) and send them packing – horizontally if they chose not to willing proceed on shank’s mare. Then I would go find a quiet place by the pond and have a beer (home brew as always) and a good cry. Afterwards, I would dust off my pants and get to work making the best life possible for those I can keep safe, healthy, and fed. To each his own, but in my case I have already made this decision and am prepared to live with it.

  6. This is something I have struggled with myself many times. I still don’t have an answer myself. I guess I will just have to play it by ear and see what happens. I know I have bought extra food just for this to happen. I know there is a time when I am going to have to tell them that I have done all I can to help them but I need to take care of my own family. It will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. I really hope that I never gets this bad but I prepare like the world is going to end in a year anyways. Great post provokes some deep thought too.

  7. Nice article
    I have many of the saem problems with family and friends too
    I get the backhanded compliment, “we going to your place” which is irritating. My boss spends $$$ on all kinds of fun stuff, grows a great garden, buys junk silver for the financial future, but does nothing to prep, with his income he can do it in a single weekend. I think for some it’s really to much darkness to sink in, to scary or obserd. My current policy in regards to supplies and such is to stock about 20% above my family needs for bartering / sharing with whom ever shows up. I have even had my well meaning church members tell me, “you just have to really on God”, What are you nuts, God expects you to use the common sense he blessed you with. Remember Joseph was told to store for the coming famine to Egypt. If there is time, I would like enough supplies to sliip into 1/3rds, thereby having 1/3 to cover the ones who show up/bartering. It could be possible that “Food” will be worth more then $ at some point. Cant all ways feed a family or child on a silver coin. I’ll try this and get backto you

  8. If it was actually bad enough and I thought there was a chance of running low on food: sorry Bob–you aren’t taking food away from my kids. Gotta go. I will not let 2 little kids go hungry because an adult didn’t prepare. My obligation is to them and them alone. I have no problem standing up for that. No matter if it is friend or family.

  9. It’s a bitch, isn’t it?

    Your year’s supply of food for two becomes six months for four, three months for eight and six weeks for sixteen.

    Maybe.

    That’s if you can keep Uncle Fester and Cousin It out of the pantry every time their fat, food-addicted butts get a hunger pang. Who’s going to say who gets how much and when? You? Not too likely. You couldn’t even turn them away at the door. They already know just how much respect to accord your strength of will and will act accordingly.

    And even if you do try to maintain food rationing discipline, you have to sleep sometime. Your anger after the fact isn’t likely to be much of a deterrent.

    They’ll be in your place, consuming your supplies. Will you expect any degree of gratitude? Hope not. Because while the food holds out they MAY pay some lip service and smile sweetly, inside they’re going to be resenting you because they need you. Because you were smarter than they were, and people generally don’t like to have to admit that to themselves.

    And if/when the food and toilet paper is gone, what are you going to get in return? A warm fuzzy feeling inside for having been such a good guy? Now what?

    Having said all the above, I’m in the same quandary. Likely I was just speaking to myself at the keyboard. I could have said much more, but that’s the gist of it.

  10. My take on this is that “friends” already have some sort of mutual obligation connection with me. They’ve helped me (sitting by me for a month while I’m in a coma from a botched gall bladder removal?) already. Friends “owe” each other….I would welcome them but expect them to contribute in any way they can.

  11. I am preparing for myself and my wife, children, grandchildren and son-in-law, ten people in total.
    Have spoken to all my friends and pointed out that getting ready is a good idea.
    They are either preparing in secret or not preparing at all, in the first case good for them, in the second tough luck.
    If the time comes when all hell is breaking loose the ten come in nobody else will be welcomed.
    You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

  12. I would have a hard time with children but grown up adults that should have known better could go with Bob and die some place else or die here if they choose . I have had this discussion with my brother . He is married and has 5 children ranging from ages 2 weeks to 8 years old and he knows and agrees that bad things are going to come but he does not think it will come in the next 5 years . And just for the record . I will feed his kids but he and his wife can stay with Bob .
    And yes I do love my brother but you cant help some people .
    That’s just my thoughts on the matter
    Robert W

  13. You nailed the same conversation that I have been having with myself over the past couple of years. I have family and friends that call me names, make fun of my efforts – to my face, that I don’t WANT to even be around anymore. I also have friends that smile politely and avoid political conversation with me at all cost.

    To try to set some boundaries for myself and help relieve any guilt that will surface, I’ve stashed “charity meals” that I can give to family and friends as I send them away. When those meals are gone, then the real heart ache begins. There is no way to know until it happens how I will handle it. Probably depends a lot on their attitude and if they consider themselves “entitled” or not… The next plan, which hasn’t panned out yet, was to purchase a bug-out-site and not advertise where it is to ANYONE and pre-position supplies at that location. HOPEFULLY, that will happen – SOON. I’ll still have my “guilt feelings” to deal with, but at least not while they are staring me in the face. I’ve come to the point that I am feeling more anger, instead of pity toward those that choose to be sheeple, choose to ignore reality, and choose to not prepare.

    The Bible teaches of the virgins that were prepared with wine for their lamps. When the unprepared asked for them to “share”, they sent them away to buy their own because if they shared, they would not have enough for their own needs. Well…. there we go. Look to the Word for the answer(s) and use the “Sword of Truth” as your defensive weapon when the time comes.

  14. You pose a very difficult question. There are so many variables involved it would be hard to know for sure how someone (or I ) might best handle this situation before it actually happened. For example: Are we facing a long term or short term situation? What is the environment like around you, could/would you maybe benefit from more hands (help defending your compound, help hunting/gathering, farmhands…ect..) Does Bob and family offer skills and muscle you could benefit from?

    For me personally, family will be welcome if they can get here. I recently moved to a different state so old friends aren’t in the mix and I never talked much about prepping with them anyway. I now live in a farming community and my new friends are my neighbors who’s lifestyles are ones of self-reliance out of necessity. Based on how it has been since coming here I don’t think there is a better place for my family to be if SHTF then here.
    In the end you look at your food stocks, the number of mouths you have/can feed, your environment and the situation that has put you in this position.

    There may be some things you can do to make this situation easier to deal with… depending on the SHTF.
    If for example the SHTF is economy related. This won’t happen over night. You could make a list of supplies that you would want those who you decide you would help to bring with them. In this SHTF event there would come a time when those you have chosen to help will finally listen. When you’ve reached that time, give them the list and ask them to get as much of it as possible.

    Just remember that in the end… you have to be able to live with the decisions you make… whatever they may be.

  15. As preppers we are supposed to be preparing for future difficulty. This includes the situations brought up in this post. The time to think things through and decide on a plan is now. You and your wife
    should discuss what you will do in various eventualities and reached decisions and made plans before any crisis happens.
    Which family members and/or friends will you help and how much help will you give? In truly disastrous circumstances will you let you immediate family go hungry to take care of others? Do fell a moral and/or religious obligation to others that over rides your obligation to take care of your family? There are many more questions than these that should be worked out before something bad happens.

  16. I think there are some similarities that Noah faced during the days of buildinh the Ark. I think if we have shared our ideas with friends and family and they don’t think we have it right, there isn’t much else we can do for them but prep for us and them.
    Since prepping for our own family is hard enough, I think I send others down the road to find a help elsewhere. I like the idea of giving them a small goodie bag of food or water if I have a extra.
    So Bob would not be a welcome to stay with me unless he has a skill that my group needs.

  17. Simple answer to this question.
    I’d rather explain to my family why I let those people in,
    Than explain to the lord, why I didn’t.

  18. D.B.

    Great post. God truly works in mysterious ways. I have to be honest, I felt like you were writing this directly to me. Ego aside, I have been dealing with this with my family and friends for 5 years, perhaps even longer. My family has always thought I was a little off when I joined the militar, when I took medical training, when I was always interested in learning skills that were going to be tangible in the future. Skills like fire training, welding, gardening, carpentry etc. They have always thought I was a kooky conspiracy theorist who read to many books or didn’t have a “true” picture of how the world truly operates.

    Well, last week, I had it out with my brother. MY BROTHER! He called me names and brought up things about how he really felt about me. How I was a right wing gun nut and survival freak. This coming from a man who has children. I asked him if he cared about their future and he does to a certain extent, but he cares more about what they think of him and what his plans for a collapse would be. There would be none. We are too big to fail don’t ya know? WTF? Without getting into it further, I decided something last week.

    I am giong to wash my hands of it. My family and friends all know I prepare, they know I have supplies and work with my neighbors. They know I have tried to warn them about being prepared, about the Federal Reserve, about tangible assets, about bushcraft skills etc. but there normalcy bias cannot be cracked.!You cannot make a person believe a concept if they do not want to see it. They have to change their perceptions themselves.

    I go back and forth on this notion every day. Will I help them? Won’t I? Screw them! I will help! Will I? Back and forth and back again. It weighs heavy on my heart. But to tell you the truth, as it stands, right now, I am not so sure I could help them. I am not saying I wouldn’t, I am saying I couldn’t. There is a difference, slight as it may be to everyone reading this post. I will say this, if I chose to help them, it would be their worst ngithmare. They would do things my way, they would obey my rules or they would be OUT! Gone!

    AND! Everyone would contribute. If families or groups of people are subject to TSHTF then it is paramount that people learn to work together to survive this event, or more clearly, survive the paradigm shift. Because things are going to change my friend. There is no denying it. Life will not be the same for your children as it was for you.

    It’s a hard question to answer. I guess you would not know until you are confronted with it. I know one thing, I could not make the decision myself. I would have to put it in God’s hands and ask for a hell of a lot strength. I would pray early and often.

    It will be needed.

    Excellent article.
    Ben

  19. Well D.B., you have nailed it. The situation you describe is one I could have written myself when it comes to my relatives. I have put together 3 day packs for those closest to me but even then, they live almost 100 miles away so I have no way to monitor what they have done with them.

    Side note: I don’t know whether it is natural migration to friends with similar interests and philosophies but I find that a good portion of my friends are starting to prepare in one way or another. That is not the case with my relatives.

    Did you see the Twilight Zone episode “The Shelter”? It describes a situation where a group of friends are sitting around enjoying an evening together when there is a warning of a nuclear attack. The prepper and his family head for their bomb shelter and the others go home. Later, they are back clamoring to get in to the shelter. The prepper only has enough in the way of supplies for his family. He faces the same dilemma: do I invite them in or let them die?

    So now that you have asked the question, I need to ponder my own answer. And as you say, it is creepy.

    — Gaye

  20. Whether/how much to share our meagre resources is something I’ve been thinking about a lot over the last 6 months or so. This is especially so as I’m a newbie at all this prepping and only have a 14 day supply of everything for 2 people, and a six month supply of a few things. The trouble is that I have a daughter, son in law and two grandchildren next door and they have no prepping at all, just a reasonably substantial store cupboard.

    What really bothers me is the loss of power for more than a fortnight, or water for longer than a few days. Our emergency supply of water is only 15 or so days for 2, or 5 days for six of us at 3 litres a day per person. I would have to let them share it as we’re close. Others, though, no. Noone else is important enough to share with unless they bring in huge personal resources of a different kind – and sadly this includes my best friend who chooses not to prepare. And she would understand. She knows she is making choices and if the situation were changed the same rules would apply, especially as it wouldn’t be just her, but her, her husband, 2 children, their spouses and multiple children.

    Once I have a year’s supply of resources for myself and my husband and at least 3 months for my daughter’s family I might reconsider, but for now I would be hard.

    However I think it is much less likely that we have an overnight TEOTWAWKI than a slow inexorable slide into a lower standard of living, more unemployment and inflation where debt becomes a huge problem and power being switched off by the power company for unpaid bills is much more likely than it just becoming unavailable. That is much harder as how does one help a family member or good friend go through the traumas of massive credit card debt when your little resources wouldn’t even make a dent in their problem even if you were prepared to share them?

  21. The situation gets even more uncomfortable when you add grandkids to the mix. Sure, if my kids and in-laws don’t choose to prepare that’s their problem but could I close the door on my cute little grandkids. No. Instead, I’m planning on buying extra basics such as wheat, beans and rice.

  22. I am with you Rourke. I have spent a lot of time Prepping. I know (from my army days) I can pull the trigger if I have to. However, this mean, tough, SOB, cannot do it to family. I am in the same boat as you. I couldn’t let my little nephews and neices starve…. Where does that leave me an my family? Scary to think about. I have enough to get a SMALL group by for a while. But Hunting, fishing, and Farming will be the order of the day… EVERY DAY. Ghost

  23. I always get concerned by the lack of preparation by those around me. Most seem to be content with idea that dialing 911 will solve 98% percent of any emergency. The idea that a hurricane, finacial collapse of sorts or terror attack will simply not affect them for more than day if it happened at all. Food, shelter, security, water and other basic necessities just seem as something that will be purchased at mini-mart when needed. I find this perspective odd… but that’s me. As for Bob, I will simply let him know what I can and can not do to help/assist him. My family is first and that is why I prepare.

  24. Almost certainly the answer would be no for letting most people in. I prep for myself, and my immediate family first. Extended Family second if they show up. A few friends third.

    If it’s in the beginning of a disaster, I might part with some of my smaller canned goods that are past their expiration dates. Give them away as charity anonymously. I don’t want lots and lots of people coming to my place looking for charity, I’d be out of food within a few hours.

    If the disaster is prolonged, I’d pull back, and look after #1. I have just as much right to live as they do, I made preparations, and they didn’t. T.S.

    Those people have had access the same kinds of information (CNN/FOXNEWS/MSNBC/etc. etc.) as I do. They can easily see that things are coming apart in this country. If they choose not to do anything about it for themselves, and continue to read tabloids instead of a book by James Wesley Rawles, or Cody Lundin, then I can’t stop them.

    They know damn-well that they can’t live without water and food. There isn’t a lot of fresh, potable water on planet Earth. If they choose to buy junk food, and walk right by the canned goods, and bottled water sitting right there in the store, then that is what they’ve decided to do.

    If they choose to spend 600-1000 or more dollars on a new phone, or a new iPad, or some other kind of fancy toy rather than bottled water or food, or guns or ammo, or spend some time at the range shooting, that’s their choice, I won’t take that choice away from them.

    If they want to spend their nights out partying and getting drunk, and catching every STD known to man, rather than researching how to perform CPR, or how to properly clean and bandage a wound or how use an AED, that’s their prerogative.

    If they want to watch the latest fad on TV, like American Idiot…Er, I mean Idol, or Desperate Housewives, or Sex and the City, or some other filth, instead of watching preparation videos on youtube, or better yet, reading a book, and learning something new that might save their lives or the lives of their loved ones in the future, I’m totally fine with that.

    I’m totally okay with the average American staying perfectly asleep, as long as they are ready to suffer the consequences of their actions, up to and including death when the time comes.

    More people in this country need to learn from their own mistakes, and be allowed to fail and fall flat on their faces, if nothing else than to serve as an example to others.

    -Another Robert, who’s last initials also happens to coincidentally be “W”

  25. Another concern for those who, for whatever reason, know all about your preparations is how they will act if / when you turn them away.

    I have a truly socio-pathic group of family members and in-laws. They have done their dead-level best to destroy my reputation in my home community for my ‘crazy concerns about the future.’ I’ve been publicly ridiculed and privately back-stabbed for the better part of two decades by both my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Marrying pit vipers seems to run through my siblings.

    I know with no doubt in my mind that these bastards will be the first to tell anyone who will listen to them about where my guns and ammo are cached, where my food and heritage seeds are stored, etc. etc.

    Sadly, and this is something you BETTER think hard about: the people who are screwing you over now, family or not, will only be 10 times worse when things start to get really bad.

    I’m all for being godly and kindness is the only thing that’s kept me from losing my mind all these years.

    But I really don’t think I will welcome these despicable cut-throats when times get bad.

    I’ve worried about this so much, in fact, that I’m strongly considering relocating to another part of the country.

    Bottom line: If people don’t know what you have, and you keep it a secret, it leaves you a lot less vulnerable.

    I know I sound cold, but you really must have walked through my shoes to fully understand my despair over my family.

    To sum it up…each of you owes it yourself, and to those whom you have prepared for to ask, “Am I really following God’s will by knowingly letting in people who will sabotage and destroy me.”

    You may think I’m exaggerating, but if you take a good clear look at all the players in your extended family….I bet you will face similar characters.

  26. My husband had me read this and it made me think of some neighbors of ours who have 3 kids, ages 1 year – 15 yrs old. We have discussed many times around the fire pit about prepping for our families. They always complain about being broke, yet have a never ending supply of cigarettes and liquor. (cigarettes are running around $6 these days) The husband informed us that his plan when the SHTF is to go around knocking from door to door asking if the household has children, and if they don’t then taking their food supply because he “has to feed his kids”. He believes that anyone with food that doesn’t have kids should give him their food or he will take it by any means necessary. We have given him pointers on how to prep, showed him stuff that we have bought from the managers bin for pennies on the dollar. He is capable of prepping, but chooses not to. I have discussed this with my husband many times and we know that he will come knocking on our door first wanting a place to stay and food. There is no way they can stay with us. The only one with skills is the husband. One person working doesn’t make up for the other 4 mouths he would bring with him. We are planning on moving out of this neighborhood soon, and our bug out will be a family secret, just the 4 of us. All of our immediate family lives over 2000 miles away, so we have to rely on ourselves.

  27. Very good points. I worry about this, because my husband’s family is two hours away. The few who visit our home and know what I am doing make a bit of fun of me when they visit. I think I have reached the point where I am going to ask them if they want to participate, privately. If so, planning can expand to include them. They will have to contribute something. Will have to figure out what that will be. If they decline, they have saved my husband and me from making the decision later. I am sure this will be easier for me than for my husband.

  28. Ken,
    You are not alone. Most of my IMMEDIATE family are vipers. There are good reasons why I do not talk to them anymore. Thankfully I live across the country from them now.

    What you say is valid. And relocation might seriously be worth looking into.

  29. It’s a heartache:

    I guess I have the opposite problem. My family will never make it. My people would be more worried about their cell service then running for their life. All are just too modern and too far away. They know to come home if they need to. I have everything but them. I continue to prep in the hope that someone might make it home.

  30. Man, this was a good article. I know not one friend or family member who is on board with preparing for what may come. Except for bro-in-law’s family which is just him and his wife. My family still makes fun of me on occasion for prepping for Y2K back in the day. It just so happens that I worked in Manufacturing where all the equipment was PLC and computer controller ( imbedded systems ) and was in charge of testing and assisting locating problems. Well alot of our equip would fail on a date rollover test and sometimes was unrecoverable requiring us to replace software or computers. The rest of the country’s infrastructure was experiencing the same issues and so there was a valid reason to prepare and I followed all kinds of online groups who were reporting failures etc. Long story short – I prepped for 6 months of food, water, supplies etc., ammo, medical you name it. Nothing happened new years eve except that I had a relaxing evening with my wife and 2 baby girls and many beers. My family never let me forget. At least the food items were canned and dried etc and was stuff we normally eat. But it was extremely stress free knowing that we would be okay for whatever amount of time we could defend it 🙂 I’m still prepping now too. I’m not going to try to convince the rest of my family whom quite frankly will not survive due to age, too many necessary prescriptions and being just overweight and unable to be outside in the elements. Me, I’m 45, ex military infantry, weapons enthusiast, exercise regularly and eat or drink as clean as possible. No health issues. My family won’t even exercise or eat right and are all obese due to bad habits and laziness, all have some medical issue. I’m the only one that’s not fat. My fiancee is on the same level as me and her family is also in dire straights due to laziness and bad choices during their life. They cannot be helped, or expected to help in a survival situation. I’m sorry, but they are on their own. The already decided not to participate in life anyways.

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